He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Did I show you my penis last night?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
