sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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