Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
