no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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