I want to stick my p in your. b.
i love accidental penises.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize