sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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