does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize