you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
