Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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