Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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