i permit you to call me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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