my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I currently don't understand fingers.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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