I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
