it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
