I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
