oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
