Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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