she looked like the before picture.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
