Who did Billy Mays play for?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize