Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
