So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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