Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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