Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
