i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
