Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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