I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
