Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
