She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Holy sore nipples Batman
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize