I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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