Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize