Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
