We're like a lot better than the average bears
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
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