But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
