Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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