evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
honey bunches of taint.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
