He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
