Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it because I queefed?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
