Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
