The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
