she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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