i barfeds in our rink
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize