he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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