she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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