i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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