I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
