I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
