you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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