mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I smell stomach acid.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize