Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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