too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
being pregnant is like rehab
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
