Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
