Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
