Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
