I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
