oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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