oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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