Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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