I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
