I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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