it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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