i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
